Practical Christian Mysticism

Dear Brother and Sisters in Christ,

I have been troubled as of late…. well, actually, I have just about always been troubled. Something has always kept me discontent about my faith. I have always been searching and questioning. No matter where I am, I have never been content. This bothers me, mainly, because so many of those around me seem content. My family, my friends, those in whatever church I attend seem to feel pretty confident they have found all they answers they need in life concerning religion or spirituality. If those around me can life comfortably in their respective faith, why can’t I?

So many things live in the back of my mind like a fire that cannot be quenched. I am bothered by the lives of people I know who have given so much, and done so much more good for their fellow man than I have. I am burdened at how those I consider masters felt, themselves, to be unworthy of the Kingdom of Heaven. I am burdened at how little I, or the lost souls I encounter, can see so little difference between the lives of those who claim to be Christians, and those who are secular. I am burdened at how blessed I have been in life and how so many live without those blessings. When I consider these things, I feel so inadequate.

With all that, I have not mentioned the thing that now bothers me the most… our lost potential. When I was fresh out of school, and just starting adult life, I had only a hint of the life a disciple of Christ could have. Now, even at my still young age, I have seen what Christ offers to those who follow him. Not only to myself, but to so many others who I have met along the way that gave themselves whole-heartedly to Jesus Christ. I have seen ordinary men become Saints and heroes, the humblest of men perform miracles, and those with nothing give more than I could hope too.

I have just begun life, and yet Christ has shown me more than I ever dreamed of. Daily I am amazed and excited (and sometimes intimidated) at what Jesus has in store for my future. However, like a man feeling the rush of freedom from captivity, I look back and see those still suffering by the hand of their captor. I know I am not special, but that is what bothers me. I know that everyone has the potential to become so much more than what we have come accept.

The Saints (speaking as a Catholic), exist to show us what is possible. They are not special, or privileged, or predetermined. The Catholic Church does not lift up Saints to make us feel insignificant, but to prove to us what is possible in Jesus Christ. Every one of us has the potential to live as those Saints to whom we look up to and admire so much.

So what stops us? Some of you (especially those who know me) may have been offended by my accusation that so many seem to be “content” where they are. It would be so arrogant of me to claim to know another’s motives. I have two reasons for saying this: One, I see so many people who have given up on their own openly-confessed dreams because of worldly concerns. Two, I come across so much resistance whenever I try to question or scrutinize even my own pattern of living (not-to-mention questioning the commonly accepted American lifestyle of others).

I have written this letter, not because I have reached an end to my restlessness, but rather come to a renewed determination to be restless. Peace, in worldly terms, is over-rated. In fact the very word is deceptive. When so many people speak of living in peace in this life, they simply mean living without persecution from the world. As so many discover, living a life as a disciple of Jesus Christ means that a lot of things are going to get hard. Heck, Jesus said it Himself:

“Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours.”
- John 15:20

Persecution doesn’t have to come in the form of a old-fashioned stoning, or even a direct attack. The world is designed to keep people from awaking the Truth of Jesus Christ, to keep us asleep. This is accomplished through secular ideologies, money, and the order and expectation of our lives given to us from birth. From our first day in school we are raised to pursue a life of material gain, and that our success is measured by our money and social status. Those who deny the worldly life are considered fools, reckless, or just crazy

What hurts my heart is that these things find there way into our own parishes and churches. It is socially acceptable for a Christian to live a life of material pursuits. We judge our spiritual health by the accuracy of our theology and our regular Sabbath attendance. I am not angry with the Church for this. It is what we are, and when we become Christians, we take it into the Church with us. What frustrates me is that we seem to have forgotten to even acknowledge the battle is there. Suburbia has become synonymous with Christianity, which is a tragedy for us as well as those searching for the genuine Jesus Christ.

There are so many talented and wonderful souls trapped in a world that squelches their flame. So many Christian men are working jobs they hate, just because they are so focused on the worldly concerns of paying bills (real as they may be) they cannot allow their minds to consider the possibilities Christ has for them. To an atheist, a man should be working for survival since he has no one else to turn too, but what excuse does a Christian have to willfully live in monotony? Doesn’t the Scriptures tell us that to everyone who gives their life to Christ, the Holy Spirit endows us with gives and talents to greatly and miraculously serve each other?

Why are we not exploring and perfecting each others gifts? Why are we not struggling to find out why God put us on this earth? Why are we not taking Jesus at His word? What words, you ask? These words:

“Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father. Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.”
- John 14:12-13

“He replied, ‘Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.’”
- Matt. 17:20

“I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
- John 10:10b

No, No… Now that I think about it, just about everyone knows those verses. We see them all the time on doormats, greeting cards, and little trinkets we buy at Christian bookstores. I think those verses got lost because we forgot the “other” verses Jesus said:

“Then he said to them all: ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.’”
- Luke 9:23-24

“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
- Matthew 10:34-39

“No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.”
- Luke 16:13

Jesus offers us so much, and asks so much as well. Besides, what greater shame can we have to know that God has given us so much, and then at the end of our life to stand before the Throne and explain how we “just didn’t use it”.

It is so hard for us to take the risks God asks of us because we are so afraid of losing what the world has given us. Often (most of the time) God does not pay as well as the world does. We turn down callings to ministry because we are afraid of losing our house, or our car. But why not move into a smaller house? Why not get a cheaper car? Why not do whatever is necessary that we don’t have to spend all our time and effort serving the world’s interests, and instead free ourselves to serve God? Why aren’t we finding ways to work together to help each other become free?

I think we should stop simply admiring Saints, and strive to mimic them. After all, Saints are Saints because they stopped just admiring Jesus Christ, and instead started imitating Him. Our God is not the God of Starbucks, 401Ks, SUVs, and apple pie. Our God is the God of hard work, miracles, pro-active mercy, compassion, and lives worth talking about. Peace, from God’s perspective, isn’t a passive goal, it is something that has to be worked for. Peace isn’t about sitting back and doing nothing, it is about seeking to actively overcome the sins and worldly habit that hold us back.

Whenever I get lost I always picture myself looking back on my life from my deathbed. If I lived my whole life struggling and fighting against the world, but was successful, and was able to do some genuine good for others, I will be happy (and probably very ready to go). If I spent my whole life playing it “safe”, holding the same job, building a retirement fund, retiring at the expected age, I will probably look back at my life wishing I had taken the time to actually live.

I have been amazed at how easy it was to forget the original motivations of my youth. So I took this time to write this letter to you all, but also to myself. I am just at much at fault here. I want this to serve as a reminder to myself to keep moving, keep trying, keep growing. I want to make sure I never grow “comfortable”.

To all those who have to put up with me on a daily basis, I know I can be annoying. I know people often think “what’s eating him?”. That is part of the reason I have given so much thought to this. But after realizing why exactly I remain so restless and driven, I don’t think it is something I can (or even should) stop.

Maybe I am just crazy. Maybe I should just take a Prozac or something… But I don’t want to go asleep. I want to stay awake, to keep waking up. I want to experience life as God intended it, and as Jesus Christ made it possible.

Enthusiastically in Christ,
Chris Hoyt (Yaholo)

“Wake up, O sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”
- Ephesians 5:14b