Understanding Depression
Nov 04 2007
More people have, or are diagnosed with, depression today than ever before in our history. I believe this is largely caused by the secularization of medicine. Symptoms once seen as spiritual or psychological problems are now seen as physical and chemical illnesses. This has lead to lazy treatment habits as people with real life issues are being labeled as “sick” and given a pill, thereby covering the symptoms and leaving the root problems unsolved.
The truth is that while there are physical conditions that can contribute to depression, depression is a manifestation of poor mental and spiritual health. I have little interest in discussing physical causes in depth as there are innumerable resources on that subject. Instead, this article is about the spiritual and psychological causes of depression.
Defining Depression
While depression is a term that can cover anything from feeling “down” to being suicidal, all it’s forms come from a shared cause: the perception that we have lost, or lost the possibility of achieving, something important to us. The difficulty in finding and understanding the root cause of a particular case of depression in a person is that too often the things lost exist only in the sub-conscience and the individual experiencing depression is unaware of them.
The difference between sadness and depression is the importance or magnitude of the thing lost. Even then, it is more our own perception of the importance of the thing lost. For example, one person could lose a job and simple be saddened, while another person can lose a job and sink into deep depression. If one person has few responsibilities and a good likelihood of getting a new job, they will most likely not be so hurt by the job loss. If another person has a family, debt, and a low likelihood of replacing their job they will often become depressed as their job loss also represent a loss hope in improving their lives.
The different between a “bad mood” or sadness and true depression can be defined as a loss of forward motion. When someone is clinically depressed they loose their motivation to pursue living. Those who are truly depressed who symptoms such as over-sleeping, losing interest in hobbies, and inability to find interest in or pay attention to daily activities. This is because their underlying reasons for living (again, often lying in the sub-conscience) have been removed. In other words, the basic reasons and motivations for life break down at the fundamental level.
Today, the reason so many cases of depression are treated with medication is because there has been a loss of wisdom and understanding as to what the fundamental motivations of our psyche really are. Since so many people cannot verbalize why they are depressed, and no one else can either, we just assume that they must be wired wrong or suffering an illness. The first key to overcoming depression is understand the basic principles of our psyche.
The Four Needs of the Soul
Since Abraham Maslow published his “Hierarchy of Needs” in 1954, it has become the commonly accepted model to define our motivations as humans. While I agree the model in insightful, I believe the shape is fundamentally flawed. In my experience, the needs of human soul actually run parallel to the needs of the body.
According Maslow’s Hierarchy, one would always put physical needs and safety needs above belonging and love. Both in our observance of humanity and even nature, we know this is not true. Even a mother bear will put her own life at risk to protect her cub. Likewise, humans violate this in many ways from suicide to war.
The human soul has it’s own needs which, if not met, causes us to self-destruct either by direct violence or by slow deterioration. The four needs of the human soul are identity, intimacy, stimulation, and validation. If during the course of our life even three out of the four needs are not met, then we self-destruct. If two out of the four needs are not met, we start showing symptoms of depression. Think about your own decisions and motivations as I explain the the four needs in detail. I have found no order to the four needs, and currently believe them all to be equal in importance. Keep that in mind as the order I am presenting them in is simply alphabetical and not by priority.
The Four Needs of the Soul: Identity
Who am I? It is a question we are assisted with at birth when our parents have mercy on us and give us a name. Our name is the first step of a life long journey to discover our place in the world. We have a great inner desire to see ourselves as somehow distinct from everyone else and to feel that despite the vast number of people occupying this globe there is a reason for our individual presence. Those who have a fulfilled identity find motivation to live just for the sake of bettering themselves and helping others. Growing their talents and refining their skills is an exciting and fulling task all by itself. Those who’s identity is starving become mirrors of others, indiscriminately absorbing themselves into extreme niche’s and groups. They have no interest in themselves, but only seek to mimic and gain approval of others.
Individuality is probably one of the greatest paradoxes in nature. In a healthy community, everyone is aware of and tends to the needs of others, yet at the same time cherishes the contributions of the individual. Without the individual, society cannot progress, Yet if people are self-serving, then society breaks down. This is why all healthy communities develop the concept of “roles”. A healthy community sees itself as one-entity with individual roles. This allows each person to uniquely contribute to the world they live in, while at the same time being at peace with others.
One of the reasons for the great rise of depression in today’s world is the loss of roles in modern society. People have been stripped of their opportunities to fulfill specific needs of the community while at the same time being asked to fill all roles on their own. This has not only created a crisis of identity, but also quite a bit of stress.
A good example today are the studies being continually released about how women have grown steady more unhappy since the feminist revolution. Women today are not only robbed of their original honored roles in society, but are now having to take on the responsibilities of men as in addition to their natural responsibilities. Women, more than any other group, are growing stressed and unhappy in today’s world. This also accounts for the statistics which show depression is much greater among women than men.
Like all the needs of the soul, identity is a need that is fulfilled or denied both as an individual and as a society. The health of our surrounding culture determined how hard our own individual struggle for identity will be. In an unhealthy society, the individual has a longer journey for identity. Likewise, in a healthy society, the individual may never struggle with identity at all. In the end, for our souls to survive we have to justify our individual existence in the context of our world.
The Four Needs of the Soul: Intimacy
I don’t want to be alone. We all struggle to escape the deep loneliness of our own minds. The human soul craves to be somehow connected to those around us. Intimacy is probably one of the most obvious needs we have, even to ourselves, as it is easy to see how we do almost anything to be sure we are not left alone for too long. As we grow, however, it is not enough simply to be in the presence of others. We yearn for and seek to be close within our very minds. We seek companionship with others be it romance with the opposite sex or a “kindred spirit” that become our best friend. Those who are most content in an intimate relationship are those who seem to share the same mind. Those who are truly intimate seem to know what each other is thinking and act as if they are one person. This is the ideal that we all hunger for in a relationship.
The starvation of intimacy is the greatest cause of violent depression, obviously because relationships are the greatest source of anger and hurt. When intimacy is lost it is often accompanied by hurt, betrayal, and guilt as well. Suicidal depression is often triggered by a lost, or lost in the hope of having, intimacy because the act of suicide is intended not only to end the pain of the person committing it, but to cause pain to others who denied them intimacy.
We find meaning in life according to our relationship to those around us. It is almost as if our brains cannot even function properly as an individual. Just think about how much occupants of a prison fear solitary confinement even though the company they keep isn’t all that great to begin with. We crave the company and presence of others. We crave for others to know who we are, and to know who they are. We are terrified of being alone.
The Four Needs of the Soul: Stimulation
Get busy living or get busy dying… Oh, how true that is. This is probably the most overlooked of the four needs, but as I mentioned before, it is just as important as the rest. The human psyche craves stimulation. If you think about it, it makes sense. Our whole culture is based around a desire for constant entertainment: tv, movies, video games, radio, magazines, etc. The problem is all that entertainment is just a pacifier for the mind, but not necessarily sustenance. We were created to learn and struggle, to better ourselves through study or physical exercise. If the mind and body are not being challenged then we begin to rot. Most common forms of depression come from lack of proper stimulation.
Everything from Attention Deficit Disorder to insomnia, can often be attributed to lack of proper stimulation. A body that doesn’t get enough exercise or physical challenge is restless and unsubmissive to the mind. A mind that isn’t challenged or stimulated denies the body rest (ever watch TV to fall asleep?). Ecclesiates 5:12 says “The sleep of the laborer is pleasant – whether he eats little or much – but the wealth of the rich will not allow him to sleep.”.
It may seem strange that I am including stimulation in the needs of the soul, but the mind and body are simply serving the desires of the soul. God created the human soul to explore, learn, and seek understanding. I debated labeling this need “struggle” instead of stimulation since the times at which the soul flourishes the most is times of struggle. Just think about the deep satisfaction and peace which comes after half-killing yourself in a rigorous workout, or the internal spark after learning something new.
The paradox of stimulation is that what we truly need is not what we are often inclined to seek. We are healthiest when we are pushing ourselves to struggle, either by pushing our physical limited or teaching ourselves new ideas and concepts. Those who find the discipline to push themselves to develop mentally and physically are often the happiest people you meet, but for some reason so many people resist struggle. Our entertainment culture has made us lazy and sick, and is our leading source of common “blues” depression in adults as well as so-called mental disorders among our children.
The Four Needs of the Soul: Validation
Am I a good person? What do other people think about me? Starting with adolescence, we seek approval from our parents. As we grow our needs for approval expand to include our peers, and then society as a whole. From getting a “A” on a report card to an award from an employer, we are constantly seeking for others to approve and validate our existence. Those who suffer from a lack of validation from their family and society show anti-social behavior as a “I hate you because you hate me” response. Simply put, you could say that validation is simply the desire to be loved and respected by others, but also in a way that makes us feel good about ourselves.
There is another side to validation: we have a need to perceive our own selves as good. Our own psychies have a consistant need to justify and rationalize everything we do. Even if the things we do don’t seem good to others, we cannot do anything without first justifying or rationalizing it in some way to ourselves. This need is the underlying source of many major pathological disorders and anti-social behaviors. Sometimes a person’s sub-conscience or emotions propell them to commit an action beyond thier ability to intellectually justify, this leads to overall breakdown of the mind which can manifest itself in many ways.
The Four Needs of the Soul and the Sub-Conscience Mind
The most important thing to understand about the four needs is that they live in the sub-conscience mind. We don’t live our lives always (if ever) aware of these basic needs that never-the-less are the foundations our decisions. These needs form a primal base at our very birth which motivate our mental growth and development.
Becoming aware of these needs and discovering their place is our descision making process is the a powerful first step in overcoming depression and as well as many other mental and emotional problems. Since these needs are primortial in nature, they do not live in our minds in the basic forms as I have described them. Instead, from the very moment we can think conceptually, we “wrap” those needs into external expectations based around our life experience.
For example, our first embodiment of identity is to learn our names. Our first embodiment of intimacy is to be held by our parents. Our first embodiment of stimulation are the toys in our cribs. Our first embodyment of validation is when we as children bring our toys to our parent’s to hear them patronize us with a “thank you” or “I see”.
As we grow and mature, so do the ways we conceptualize or embody our four needs in our minds, and that is where are mental health (or lack of) develops. If we embody our needs in unrealistic or unattainable concepts we doom ourselves to discontentment. Likewise, if we perceive (falsely or not) that we have lost or cannot have that which we have embodied our four needs in, we become depressed.
Family and the Four Needs
Ideally, our four needs are met from birth through a healthy family structure. A child who grows up with their own natural mother and father married, and in a healthy relationship with each other, will have their needs met up until adolescence. The family structure was given to us by God to give us an ideal and safe environment for development. During infancy and into childhood, are parents are intended to be the primary source for our needs. Our mothers give us intimacy starting with breast-feeding. Our fathers give us stimulation through play. Our parents love and attention gives us our validation. The relationship dynamics provided by a healthy marriage provides a child an identity as a son or daughter that has a place in a family unit. This is why so many people point out that parents fill the role of God in the mind of preadolescent children.
Children who suffer from depression are almost always coming from a “broken home”. Divorce has become so common, that many people are trying to down play or exclude the detrimental effects it has on a child’s development. The truth is that every child who experiences a divorce among his parents will suffer major developmental setbacks. Of course, parents who are married but in an unhealthy relationship, abuse for example, also leave scars on a child’s psyche.
As we move on to adolescence, our needs grow to incorporate the world around us. While the foundation given to us by our parents forms a base of comparison by which we begin to explore the world, they are no longer sufficient to satisfy our inner cravings. God has created us to “go forth” in life, and our need propel us out of the home and into the world. This very concept is the healthy nature of “forward motion” that all people should have. The more well-formed the development of childhood, the more forward moving energy we have entering adolescence.
Forward Motion and Overcoming Depression
Now we come to very gist of depression. Depression, in all it forms, is an absence of forward motion. Our four needs only give us forward motion when we believe we can somehow fulfill them. If we begin to perceive that we can no longer achieve fulfillment of our needs, we lose forward motion and become depressed. The key to overcoming depression is examining the embodiments or “wrappings” we have established around our needs.
For example, many teenagers embody the needs for intimacy in the pursuit of a mate. Even more drastically, there is “Romeo and Juliet” scenario where a teenager embodies all their hopes of fulfillment around a single person. When that relationship, or perception of a relationship, is lost the teenager experiences depression because they feel they have lost the hope of having their need fulfilled. Often times, this depression is simply overcome by realizing that other people can fill that need just as well.
There are many more complicated and deeper examples. Some people have embodied their need for identity into a job. Others have embodied their need for validation in success. In the worst cases, people embody their needs into purely materialistic or physical vices – living without any real conscience thought at all.
The difference between sadness and depression is often one of perspective. All of us will lose a loved one to death at some point. Those who lose someone whom they have put on the full burden of fulfillment will become depressed. Those who lose someone whom they relied on for some fulfillment will simply become sad.
To overcome depression we have to seek forward motion. We have to find what delusions and misconceptions have created road-blocks in our minds. Simply changing the sources we go to for fulfillment will open the doors of life again.
Forward Motion and Overcoming Depression
To bring this all back to a mystical perspective (after all, I am a mystic), this is why God is so important. God hasn’t just wired us with these four needs, but he also wired us to be able to be fulfilled in all those needs directly from the source: Him. The four needs play two very important roles, first they propel us out into the world to fellowship and commune with our fellow man. Second, after being in communion with our fellow man they propel us to seek even more than what man has to offer.
Even those who are incredibly devout disciples of Christ in this world will never really fulfill all their needs directly from God. Never-the-less we constant push forward to free ourselves more and more from dependance on this world. As Saints are often people who went against the culture and society around them, we can see how Godly men draw their strength from a source beyond men.
For all those who struggle with depression, I guarantee it is because you have placed your hopes for fulfillment on worldly things. Depression can be overcome by learning to fulfill our needs directly from God. Especially for those who did not have the fortune of growing up in a healthy family, God is a Father to the fatherless. There is hope for even the most down-trodden to find fulfillment in God.
In all this I hope I have given you tools to help discover in your own mind, and help others discover, the ways you may have artificially “wrapped” your needs into this world. I also hope I have given some of you who are struggling with depression and understanding that you can actually be healed.
